I have a theory about something that might contribute to my inability to sleep.
I ALWAYS have to know what time it is. Like, not approximately, not rounding up or down, i have to know exactly what time it is, pretty much every other minute or so. I check my phone constantly, which i know sounds pretty insane seeing as time moves at a steady rate.
Ask Rachel, I'm sure this got pretty damn annoying freshman year, in the morning, i'd ask her what time it was. for the first few weeks, she'd round up or down to the nearest half-hour. but she quickly learned that rounding isn't good enough. I need the exact time, down to the minute. For instance, right now it is 1:32 am. I would not be satisfied if someone told me it was 1:30 right now. Don't know why, but it's one of the things I fixate on. I wonder if that's part of the problem--the fact that i always know what time it is, so i have a hard time letting go of that awareness. Even when I'm laying in bed at night not sleeping, I check my phone every couple minutes, just to see how much time has passed since the last time I checked.
I realize out crazy this all sounds, but this is my way of talking it out. I just wonder if this has something to do with my inability to let go of what's in my mind and just let sleep take over.
ps
New Year's Resolution #1 - Stop Worrying So Much About Time!!
1 comment:
I'm not going to lie. It was pretty annoying at first, but then I remembered what my mother told me when I was young, "you can't hold crazy people accountable for their actions".
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