It was gorgeous outside today. What was I doing, you may ask yourself? I was editing.
All fucking day. (Sorry to anyone that language offends...but it's warranted here.) Tearing your own words to pieces, again and again, then once more just for the hell of it...that sucks. It's harder than you can guess, especially when the work is something you're particularly proud of. Or at least something you *thought* you were proud of, until you started tearing it apart and realizing how much it sucks. So that's what I did all day. And yes, it is as fun as it sounds.
Then I went to see "Wanted", which was completely ridiculous but also ridiculously entertaining. I must own that movie when it comes out.
And now, what am I doing? Say it together, folks, I'm editing. Big surprise, huh? Big, fat, surprise.
I have no idea how to prepare for this writer's conference. It's...8 days?...eight days away, I think...holy crap. There's no way in hell I'm going to be ready for this. No way.
I'm just terrified that I'm going to go and waste my time and my father's well-earned money. I'm afraid his pride will go unfounded, his support will have been misplaced. All of those things can happen, folks, and I'm terrified that they will. I need a break from this. I'm trying and trying and trying to prepare but all I'm doing is freaking myself out.
How can I do this without driving myself (or my parents) up the wall with questions and uncertainties? How can I do this without failing, without completely letting myself and everyone around me down?
The more pertinent question: How in the hell am I gonna do this at all?
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